Love & relationships5 min read
Mid life crisis and sparkless marriages
Sometimes a marriage doesn’t break. It slowly becomes something else. You still sleep beside each other. You still ask, “Did you eat?” “What time will you…
Read this essayWriting
Notes from the room, and from my own life.
I write about what actually happens in healing: the mother wound, the patterns we inherit, why love is sometimes not enough, and the parts of this process nobody puts on a brochure.
Most recent
01By theme
What I write about.
- Love & relationships11 essays
- The healing process6 essays
- Worth & shame4 essays
- Inner child2 essays
- Mothering3 essays
- What we inherit2 essays
- The nervous system1 essay
02All essays
Everything I have published (29)
Love & relationships3 min read
“I don’t feel like asking my partner for money.”
A client said to me recently, “I don’t feel like asking my partner for money.” I knew what she meant. Perhaps because I belong to the women for whom asking…
Love & relationships3 min read
What “Musafir Cafe" taught me
I recently watched Musafir Cafe. When the film ended, I noticed something uncomfortable about which character I had been quietly rooting for.
Love & relationships3 min read
“Should I tell my partner about my past relationships?”
One of the questions I get asked surprisingly often is, “Should I tell my partner about my past relationships?” People usually expect me to answer
Love & relationships3 min read
When Friendships end
There are some relationships we never really grieve. Not because they mattered less. Because nobody tells us they can end without ever actually ending.
Love & relationships3 min read
The love that changes people
After years of sitting with people, there is one pattern I have stopped overlooking. It almost always comes disguised as love.
Love & relationships3 min read
Why Break-ups hurt so much
I don’t think breakups hurt as much as we think they do. At least… not for the reasons we imagine. People often tell me, “I miss them so much.” And I…
The healing process3 min read
I had no idea when my reasons changed
There was a time when I genuinely loved learning. A new book excited me. A podcast made a long drive feel meaningful.
Mothering3 min read
When two ordinary moments lighten my mother's guilt
I don’t think I’ve ever admitted this out loud. But there isn’t a fear I carry more quietly than this one. What if one day my boys have to heal from me?
Love & relationships3 min read
The quest of finding someone like me
For the longest time, I thought I knew what I was looking for in people. I wanted people who loved the books I loved.
Inner child2 min read
The chocolate was never the story
There are still evenings when I reach for the chocolate before I reach for myself. I wish healing had changed that.
The healing process3 min read
What fear does…
It’s been a little over a year since my separation. People often ask me what the hardest part was. They expect me to say…
Mothering3 min read
I wasn't meeting my children…
I always thought healing would make me a better mother. I never imagined it would first show me the ways my wounds were still parenting my son.
What we inherit2 min read
I had judged the answer... without ever understanding the question.
The more I loved my mother, the more desperately I wanted to become nothing like her. I’ve carried that sentence inside me for years.
Worth & shame3 min read
We don't suffer because of the events alone…
For years, I thought if I dressed nicely, I would be loved enough. Healing showed me I wanted something much harder to buy.
The healing process3 min read
Healing isn't that beautiful journey it's often sold as
One of the strangest things healing has done to me… …is that it hasn’t changed my past. It has changed what my past means.
Love & relationships2 min read
When Love alone isn't enough
I used to believe love was enough. That if two people loved each other, somehow — it would all work out. The fights would soften.
Worth & shame2 min read
When Jealousy Isn't About Them… But About the Story You Carry Inside
Let’s talk about jealousy. That tightness in your chest when you see someone having what you secretly long for. That bitter ache when someone you know…
Love & relationships2 min read
What really hurts in a relationship
You know what really hurts in relationships? When one person keeps asking — “Can we talk?” And the other keeps running.
Love & relationships2 min read
We don't fear love, we fear how deeply we can feel it
In my work — and in my own life — I’ve seen how much love lives inside each of us. Not the surface-level affection.
Worth & shame2 min read
The wounds behind our high standards
I didn’t realise for years that the harshest voice I heard was my own. The one that told me I should’ve done better.
The healing process1 min read
The cost of waiting
No decision is ever free. Even when you say “I’ll think about it later”, you’re paying for it. With your time. Your focus.
The healing process3 min read
Some Pains Aren’t Here to Break Your Heart — They’re Here to Burn Your Ego.
I used to think suffering was unfair. Like life singled me out for pain while everyone else moved on untouched. I remember days when I’d sit in my room…
The nervous system4 min read
Overthinking is a symptom rather than a problem
I used to think that my overthinking was my biggest flaw. Endless nights spent replaying conversations, imagining worst-case scenarios, analyzing every…
The healing process2 min read
It Was Never Fear That Kept Me Stuck — It Was the Story I Told Myself About It.
For the longest time, I believed fear was what kept me from making decisions. Leaving situations that hurt. Choosing myself.
Mothering2 min read
I hurt my children without meaning to
I want to tell you a truth I’ve been ashamed to say out loud for a long time. I have hurt my children. Not in the ways you might think.
Worth & shame3 min read
When balance feels like a beautifully wrapped trap
Since you are home anyway, can you just cook lunch today? A look at how the language of balance quietly hands one person all of the work.
What we inherit7 min read
The Holi we left behind
Growing up, Holi wasn’t just a festival. It was a feeling. It was my dad twirling to old Bollywood songs, his laughter rising above the music.
Inner child4 min read
A letter to my Inner Child
My Dearest Sneha, I see you. I see you sitting quietly in the corner, your small fingers tracing patterns on the floor, trying to disappear.
New writing, as it goes out
I send these out by email and post them on Substack and Telegram. Cohort dates for the trainings go to that list first.
Next step
If something here described your life, that is usually not a coincidence.
Write to me and tell me which part landed. That sentence is often the most useful starting point we could have.